Dee, I really dunno why...I got a job, but I did not like it.... It is not becoz I am a perfectionist or what, but I think this job is not suitable for me... I am still trying to like this job, but I just feel depressed... I miss my little hometown, I miss the friendly environment there... I miss my family, my friends, and of course my hubby sweetheart...

alhamdulillah...
that's d first word I said in my gaduation day...

Allah has given so many blessing that I can finish my study in d estimated time n get satisfactory grade...

This is also because of my loving parents, my family, my best friends, and my lover who alwiz give me support n spirit...

After all, I am so lucky...

Now this is my time 2 face d real world:)

PS: Finally, my lover has asked 4 permission from my parents 2 marry me in d next 2years...hopefully Allah will keep our heart n love till d time...

Dee, today i join jobfair 2 get good n proper job 4 me (since my parents do not allow me 2 go 2 Bekasi). I make 6 application letter n do 1 walk in interview 2day. Dunno why, but I'm so sensitive with the interviewer questions...Seems he wanted 2 make me down hu hu hu....T_T
Well, I little bit pessimistic about d result...just pray 2 Allah n wait...

walopun deeny uda ga skul, tp klu pas liburan masi suka jln2 brg tmen2,,,,juzt hang out n refresh mind from all d burden(sok kcapean bgt yaaaa)....
kali ini deeny jeng2 ma tmen kentel bgt (tmen dr SMP mpe skrg) ke desa simbahnya....

uih asyik bgt de maenan ar (coale deeny ga isa renang, jd cma nyemplung aj tyuz diem gaya batu hohoho...)

kpn2 maen lg klu uda ada kolam ikan ma gazebona...eumh....bkin barbeqiu enak tue...^0^

Dee, ckarang aku uda d panggil "Bu S.Pd."
U know why??? Aq uda lulus Dee!!! U know what??? Tgl 24Juni jd hri brsejarah bwtQ... Bener2 "a red letter-Day"

Hari itu judisium (kelulusan fakultas)... Aq g nyangka krna ternyata i got d highest GPA...I never expected tis, so I really happy n surprised!

Uluh...uluh...aq binun Dee, pas dsru k depan wat nerima bouquet bunga krisan putih ma kado...binun karena a musti ngomong spatah kta....Akhirnya, karna binun, aq blg aj, "one of my unforgottable experience in ED is that although I am different, although I am wearing a veil, I never feel any discrimination in my study"

Dee, I was so happy that day...Perjuangan selama 4taon bercucuran aermata darah ternyata ga sia2....Alhamdulillah...


Now, it is time for me to prove that I really have good qualification to get good job and make my parents proud of me:)

Amieeen ya Allah!!!

Ps.: bouquet bunga krisanny ckarang jd slah satu penghuny "my fave corner brsama kerang2q"...ampe layu hwehehe....

nice dei....nice weather....

why i can't feel the cheerful mood??

feel like I wanna go far2 away home...to a place where I can weep as long as I can...

dee, when I am happy, why I should remember all saddest things that actually had laid deep in the bottom of my heart?

dee, why it is so hard to forget and forget past mistakes??? I wanna do that....but it's so hard....even though I always remind myself that everyone can make mistakes, and everyone can have dark life in the past, but I can't deny that my heart sumtimes can't accept that!

dee, it is as if I'm being a blind person...I might not see colors, but I certainly can feel "blue"

I really wanna know the secret of forget and forgive...how it's so hard for me???Though I know that my lord, Allah, always gives his forgiveness to people who have great sins...

why it is so difficult for me???what should I do to clean my heart from this bad feeling???

Dee,,, where there is a great luv, there r alwiz miracles....

I really believe in that proverb...just listen 2 my story...

Dee, alhamdulillah...alhamdulillah kupanjatkan ke hadirat Allah SWT...Betapa Allah selalu melimpahkan rejeki & nikmat yg tak mampu aku urai satu persatu...Betapa Allah selalu menjagaku & melindungi aku...serta memberi petunjuk & kemudahan2 dalam aku menjalani hidup...

Dee, alhamdulillah skripsiku uda selesai, tinggal ngasi revisian buat cek format akhir sblm di burn ke cd & nunggu nile keluar (moga2 dpt yg terbaek ya Dee...)

Dee, kuliahku isa di bilang uda slese, tinggal nglengkapin syarat2 yudisium & wisuda aja...tapi, yg jadi beban pikiranku adlh masa depanku nanti...

Seperti yg slalu aku keluhkan, aku bingung nentuin langkah masalah pekerjaan...Gimana engga??? Aku seolah di apein buah simalakama, di adepin pada dua pilihan yg benar2 sulit... Kakakku pengen aku kerja ndi Bekasi, nggantiin posisi dia di ELP, cuz dia uda ketrima jadi pengajar di Sekolah International...

Di satu sisi, aku merasa sangat beruntung....Seperti kakakku bilang, di Bekasi aku punya banyak peluang utk ngembangin diri, banyak kesempatan berkarir yang bagus, & bisa nabung banyak buat masa depanku...

Tapi, di sisi laen, aku merasa apa aku bisa beradaptasi di tempat yang begitu asing & modern? Sanggupkah aku ninggalin Salatiga, kota kecil yg uda menoreh begitu banyak kenangan & menjadi tempat bernaungku selama ini? Sqanggupkah aku ninggalin orang2 tersayangku-- ibu, ayah, simbah (yg skarang sakit2an & slalu ga rela aku pergi jauh), sobat2ku, & kekasihku?

Dee, setelah bergulat lama dgn egoku, disertai tetesan aermata yg tak mau berhenti, aku mantepin diri buat nerima tawaran kakakku...Aku harus kuat, karna Allah menyukai hambanya yg tabah & tegar...

Dee, awalnya susah banget utk ngungkapin itu semua pada kekasih yg sangat aku cintai, tapi akhirnya (masi dgn linangan aermata) aku beranikan diri... Dia diam, langsung mendekapku erat...Dalam heningnya, aku tau dia merasakan yg sama dgn apa yg ku rasa, Dee.... Berat melepas seseorang yang telah mengisi hari2....

Dee, kekasihku bilang akan setia menungguku...Aku percaya itu, tapi buatku ga cukup cuma janji2 sepasang pencinta itu...Aku pengen liak kesunguhannya...

Dee, akhirnya aku jujur padanya, aku pengen liak keseriusannya...Jika dia memang bener2 sayang padaku seperti yg slalu dia bilang, aku pgn dia ngomong ma ortuku, bahwa 2taon lg, dia akan melamarku utk jd istrinya...

Alhamdulillah, Dee.... Dia berjanji akn ngelakuin itu buat buktiin keseriusannya....

Dee, so now I want to prove that great luv alwiz create miracles...

See my drawing on the sand? I will prove that my luv will not disappear or vanish...

My luv is not like the drawing that will vanish because of the sea wave...but it will alwiz stay and lay deep in my heart:)

I believe Allah will give the best 4 me...

nie foto2 wktu aq jeng2 k semarang ma cowoQ...

paz itu, qta prgi ke masjid Agung...indah bgt! D sana qta naek k menara (lt 18),,,wih keren bgt...isa liak sluruh Semarang (ampe k pantai2nya...) pake teropong... Asyik kan?
tyuz d lanjutin ngunjungin museum perkembangan agama Islam d lante 2 n 3...Subhanallah...Serasa melihat bukti2 kbesaran Allah...

tue blum cmuanya...jeng2 seharian d lanjutin d pantai Maron...so sweeet...

kenangan indah utk d kenang selalu...

Dee,aq bner2 hancur hr nie...
Hancur sehancur2nya...
Nothing 2 say more....

Dee, last night I felt so angry and disappointed w/ my bf...U know what? He left me alone after we quarreled...I really dunno what was wrong, but suddenly he left me without saying a word!!


Of course I can't accept that!! When he left me, I ignored him and went on my own way... Then, my bf ran after me, and he grabbed my hand. He asked me, "Do you still love me?" I really angry, how could he said that after he left me alone! I answered, " I love U so much...What I wonder is, do YOU love me?"


Dee, I really upset with his personality....He is so temperamental....Besides, any time we have problems, he never discussed them in good communication with me, but rather left me alone and made me feel guilty (even when I was not wrong at all!!!)

Gosh, sum times I feel so desperate...

I am a manga lover...
Since in elementary school...i like reading manga...the first and the most favorite manga i ever read is Doraemon (so childish huh???)

Eumph, cuz i like reading mAnga, then i tried making my own manga...but,,,those are not good,so,,, i throw them away hwehehe...

Now, i am bored trying,,,but sumtimes i still like drawing (just 4 fun...)

These are two of my drawings. I drew them using computer..so they do not look so good hwehehe...;p(ngeles nie, pdhl emng gbre jelek aj dr sonony hwehehe)

nie puto2 pas aq jeng2,,ke sawah...ke kebun karet...tyuz di sana brnarxis2 ria d...ada gaya burket, maen petak umpet, sok foto model hwehehe...

well, am I childish if I like 2 cry??

I know I always feel depressed...but how can I change that???

I wanna be a cheerful person, a mature and independent woman...

I don't want 2 always rely on somebody else, since I know that if I trust them 2 much,,they will hurt me...

I must stand on my own...

Keep fighting with the sucking life!!!

deeary, tnyata Allah tue sayank bgt ma aq...
Kemaren, aq jatuh kepleset d kamar mandi pas mw ambil aer wat nyirami bunga...
Eh, setengah muka, kepala, n badanQ kebentur tenbok n pintu....rasane sakiiit bgt,Dee...Terutama muka n blakang kepala...aq udah mikir,,,aq pst bkal gegar otak, klu ga cacat seumur idup, klu g gi2ku pasti rontok smua...
Ternyata,,,enggak,Dee...aq masi utuh,,,cuma bi2rQ aja yang pecah n robek...

Dee,,,rasanya tak kan pernah cukup ucapan syukur ku panjatkan sama Allah...Aq bisa aj mati pas itu,,tapi Allah masi menjaga,melindungi, & menyelamatkan aq...Dia masi ngasi aq kesempatan hidup, & menyadarkan aq bhwa aq bisa di panggil kapan aja,,,& aq musti brubah Dee..

aQ ga boleh bandel lg,,musti lbh deketin diri ma Allah.,,,

Uih,,,aq malu sekali sama Allah....

malem nie sepi....bgt....dingin...gelap....(maklum td abis mati lampu)...
aq pusing mikir presentasi besok...

emg cie,nie semester terakhirQ kuliah....tapi rasane belum siap kerja...maci pngen istirahat dari penat2q...

aQ ga butuh omelan2 lg...kepalaQ uda pusiiiingT_T

hwaduw...melaz bgt ya...kya anak terlantar aj kelaparan...
bukan ko... aq lg puasa hwehehe...
tapi ko laper mata ya...laper mata ti2p salam ma laper perut...hwehehe...

just trying...

well, in life there are so many things that are so sophisticated...and challenging...

and...

here i am...trying to do something that in past I don't really care...

like opening a window 2 look at the weather in the morning,,u'll always feel astonished with the miracles from God:)

just try to keep up with life...hwehehe